11.07.92

i servve no master told the warrior
how can that be?
i have chosen no to
that cannot be chosen
no, not by all. but i have too chosen this
by what right?
by the right that is
i know of no such right, who told you of this?
it was not told  it was shown
by whom?
whom? one does not learn from equals. to learn true lessons one must go to superiors
but you are such a great warrior i have known no other as you. did you learn from a god?
my god has helped me learn some things, yes, but my teachers were many
will they teach me?
they will teach anyone as that is their purpose
take me to them?
you are in their presence. many are here
i do not understand
i must leave but i shall return
you cannot leave now. when are you returning?
with the coming of a light in a time long enough to be remembered yet short enough to be forgotten

fast times

the closing of another year is close at hand...and it will be a difficult one it seems. things are catching up....nothing that wasn't expected. but its the time to close them up and be able to move on fresh once it is put to bed with some embarrassment and shame, for knowing better and just not taking the time to keep up on the things that you need to keep up on...after all, is it not one of the two certainties in life?? 

and so must begin a new outlook and "strategy" on how things need to be done. i think it really sunk in when a few weeks ago, that age old idea of creating a 5 year plan saw the end of the plan with me being 50...that was a stunner! there is no way i could be 50 in only 5 years. what the hell?? I was just 30....wasn't I? But how is it that Scotty has been gone for a year and a half tomorrow....don't blink, because you will miss your life. you know it day to day but you don't really believe it until you get a punch in the face with something.

life is insane...and long....and short....and hard.....and good....and sad....and ecstatic...and tough.....and cool....and difficult.....and fun...but it is happening....every second of every day....do you know where you are (shout to matty :) ).  do others....what will be left when you are gone. will you be remembered? what will you have contributed, taught, bestowed, made a difference with?

10.25.92

the warrior listened
the words were different
the meaning was familiar
why?
that is the way
not mine, not yours
to understand, you cannot think
ask again
it is not selfish cold wrong lonely mean
it is selfless warm right comforting kind
ask again
our roles are given to us to be chosen
we encounter one another
always at the right time
but usually at the wrong
wht wont you walk with me?
ask again
that path is on fire
i dont see fire
i know

09-28-92

they come they go
new kid in town
will they still love you
when you're not around

brisk autumn night
the sky is black
and white
and grey
the wind dances around
you
warming yet chilling
surrounding yet emptying

the time has stopped
put away in a box of white gold
closed but not locked

the warrior continues on
he must

we are almost at a wrap....another year. poof. gone. did i get better? do more? support? surprise? make the world a little better somehow? id like to think so in some small way...its been a year of change, of new adventures, of loss, of gain. taking on more to push some limits, with hopes of some greater success and prosperity. 2012 is coming in with an elevated emphasis on making a presence known....making a difference...learning, helping, doing......elevating the company to a higher standard and position in the industry through more gigs, more information and more involvement....same for the owner. this is the year to be a disruptor. a game changer. Push my potential....for me, for the girls, for kahuna. Your time here could be 47.36 years or it could just last another month. Live it like it was a month and kick some ass...a blaze of glory...live like you were dying, cuz, really.....

one set of prints

where did you go, my friend...really....what is out there? is it better? worse? neither? is it even? i've been in a funk today...started off the day with a lot of driving and had in tunes that reminded me of you. what happened to our time? our plans? there's no wingman anymore...will never be another - i will be flying solo here on out...a lone warrior roaming, wondering, being. Your written thoughts seem to be gone sadly, taken by those who didnt deserve a sentence. But your vocal thoughts will live through those who knew and loved. who were there when they weren't and who will be long after they aren't. i will walk knowing you are walking with me.

hmmm so next year is here....its actually almost 1/3 done. 1/3! man! funny how weeks seem to turn to months faster than days turn to weeks. We lose track of the basic measurements and before you know it we are taling tallies in macro terms. its easter weekend. summer is around the corner and i hope to be on the bike alot this year. not sure about a trip for more than a weekend but some time away at least. need to find some projects this summer to keep busy. gonna be a big summer i think in other aspects. we've got a move coming and some good changes brewing. need to get some business stuff put away and firmed up as well if i am going to make this work. it seems like there is a huge opportunity right now to make it happen. time will tell.